Elevated self-doubt
The Actor in Their Own Role
You have results, a role and responsibility behind you, and still a feeling follows you that you are mostly acting it all out - as if real expertise belonged to somebody else and you had merely mastered the costume. So you prepare more than you need to and ask less than you would like, in case what you still do not know floats to the surface. But that feeling is a habit of mind, not a fact about your ability - and a habit can be unlearned.
Doubt about your own ability is not an occasional visitor for you but a fairly permanent flatmate - you have the results, you just rarely get to enjoy them. The work gets done, except part of the energy goes into extra preparation, into checking, and into wondering whether you really have what it takes. This is the kind of doubt that costs you energy and deserves attention; the good news is that your scores show fairly precisely where it comes from.

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